Wednesday, 18 January 2017

The Fuckalendar





Ok so everyone has those days where it just fucking seems like no matter what you do... shit will just not seem to go your way.

Yeah don't worry we all have those days when you step in some shit, then step that shit into your car and then your whole goddamn car be smelling of shit!


Now I ain't lying when I say this shit... BUT this is an everyday thing for me in my life. NO JOKES!
Let me explain
...
So my average day will consist of me being fucked over by literally EVERY BAD FUCKING THING YOU CAN POSSIBLY THINK OF!!! From the moment I wake up I swear to god, something just has to fuck with me.
So I start my day, first thing to piss me off is that I'll walk into my table and stub my toe... AND YES MU'FUCKA'S I HAVE MOVED THAT FUCKING THING AROUND COUNTLESS TIMES SO DON'T TELL ME SOME BULL THAT IT'S MY FAULT!
Next I'll get ready for the day and find out that I'm late for a meeting because of course it got shifted earlier... SOME HOW... so I rush to grab my keys... CAN'T FIND MY KEYS... Finally find my keys that have fallen under my bed, jump in the car, and race off to the meeting... THEN SOME HOW... there seems to be traffic at 9AM in the fucking morning! Which I don't understand! Because I know Jobs require you mu'fucka's to be there at 7:30am at the latest! So explain HOW IN THE BLUE FUCK IS YOU STILL ON THE ROAD FOR!

Ok so I sit in traffic and finally get away from it all... which leads me to NOW sit behind people who literally can't figure out how the FUCK their cars work because they either bought that mu'fucka with:

A) NO FUCKING

ACCLERATOR
B) NO FUCKING INDICATOR
or
C) NONE OF THE FUCKING ABOVE!!!

And then they think it's funny to just fuck around in front of me! LIKE I AIN'T GOT SHIT TO DO!!! BUT finally I get to the meeting, sit down and then... FIND OUT THIS MU'FUCKA RUNNING LATE!!!! Now what the fuck did I rush for! And so the meeting happens at the SAME GODDAMN TIME IT WAS SUPPOSE TO ORIGINALLY START! SO FUCK YOU!
So the meeting happens and I find out that this mu'fucka just wasted an hour and a half of my time because he didn't come fucking prepared OR he expects a free hand out like I DON'T HAVE A FUCKING PROBLEM WITH IT AND I SHOULD TRUST HIM! BITCH I COULDN'T TRUST YOU TO FUCKING COME EARLY ON A TIME YOUR ASS FUCKING SET AND NOW YOU FUCKING EXPECT ME TO TRUST YOU WITH MONEY!!! BITCH!


So after that I get back in my car and head back to the studio... BUT AGAIN... people can't drive and sit and play with their NUTS while they fucking driving! SO I OVER-TAKE... And wouldn't you know it! Flashing lights! COPS PULL ME OVER!
So I get my license out and they say ok we doing a check of the car! BITCH WHAT THE FUCK FOR! They get me out the car, and start searching me, and then ask me the most retarded question on the face of this goddamn planet:

"Do you understand why we stopped you?"
BITCH!!! What the fuck do you think!!! NO!!! And this dumb twat has the nerve to say:
"It's because you were driving suspciously"
NOW HOW THE FUCK DOES SOMEONE DO THAT! If you fucking wanted to pull somebody over, you shoulda pulled the twat fuck who was scratching his nuts infront of me that I over fucking took!
After about an hour of them wasting my time I finally get to the studio, and then everyone just gives me shit on shit on MORE FUCKING SHIT!!! And now all I wanna do is get some work done! BUT everyone be texting me asking:
"WHERE ARE YOU?!"

Yes you mu'fucka's STILL be fucking doing that! FUCK YOU!

It's the same thing every fucking day, BAD SHIT ALWAYS HAPPENS... It's never ending!
And by god don't ever let things go smoothly! Because the next day! All shit that didn't go wrong on my good day... seems to fucking come and fuck me! 10 times as worse then!
Basically I decided that I ain't fucking having a calendar... I call it a FUCKALENDAR

... so I can keep track of all the fuckings I get every fucking day from shit that happens in my life!!! It's like my ass has like a sign on it that says:






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